I recently received an incredibly touching message on Facebook after one of my posts around loneliness. I’m so grateful to this brave person, because they bring up something we rarely talk about or acknowledge, or allow others to see: Our despair.
The despair in loneliness, the loneliness in despair. Some may not understand exactly what despair feels like, but chances are you know someone who does, and knowing how to meet them, or support them in inviting you into this place could make all the difference.
Despair is a powerful feeling of powerlessness, often carried in the shadows; like an inner cloak covering your worth, your joy, your hope; and a super human amount of strength is spent on simply surviving. Little then is left to deservedly seek what is needed most: to be seen, accepted, loved and held in your despair.
If you are out there reading this, feeling like this, I want you to know that the weight of your pain can be lightened by allowing someone to hold it with you. To hold you with it.
Loneliness and despair should not be carried like shameful secrets. There is nothing shameful about pain, there is nothing shameful about trauma. There is nothing shameful about feeling bereft of strength to continue with an unbearable weight.
Despair is your wounded self telling you you deserve kindness, love and all the time you need to heal.
I hope you can reach out to the friends you trust most in your heart, let them know what you carry. Or reach out to a counsellor, or a charity. Don’t give up until you find the person who makes you breathe a little easier when you share your shadows. They are out there. And you deserve to find them.